Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Rolling in the deep

We could have had it all. Rolling in the deep;
You had my heart inside your hand;
and you played it to the beat.

These words really ring with me. I feel like I'm rolling in the deep, turning over and over surrounded by unbearable pressure, suffocating in dark clouds of thick grey silk. I feel like I've fallen off the edge, slipped on the  dark rocks and now am plunging through the angry, white capped waves.
Some days are just harder than others. Today was one such day. Inside I just wanted to curl up my bed and hide from the world. Alas it was not to be. I had to preform, like a puppet with a painted smile, fake happiness and bounce around all day. And now, when the world has laid it's head to rest, I pace the confines of my mind, searching for the door though which I would cast away the dark thoughts and horrid memories that haunt me. However the door has disappeared, lost in the cavorting maze inside my head. And I'm rolling in the deep.